news from the s/v JoHee:

it is official now big dummy is trying to kill me. he told me that harness thingy he bought me was to keep me safe but a couple of nights ago after he got me all drenched from spray while we were bashing through the waves of the long island sound he decided he'd had enough and we went to a dock. it was two oclock on the morning and he was beat so i thought i'd help him tie up. i went to jump off the boat onto the dock but my tether was too short so halfway between the boat and the dock it stopped me in the air and dropped me into the water and held me there with my tail and my back legs splashing around. big dummy felt sorry for me so he hoisted me back onto the boat but i was pretty sore at him so didn't kiss him again untill he was sound asleep and i had got my tail and legs groomed all nice. anyway he either made that tether too long or too short cause all it did was make me get wet. that's just not right.

another thing that's not right i just heard on that communist radio station called npr that the new supreme court has only jews and catholics. hey. doesn't anybody besides me remember that this country was founded by puritans? i mean hello since when is it constitutional to have no protestants on the top court of the land that is supposed to keep all those stupid idiots in the house and senate from passing laws that go directly against what this country is supposed to stand for. so i decided it is time to start a new political party and do something about it cause if i don't then who the heck will.

at first i was gonna call it the pure american party which would be p.a.p. but then i realized that all the attack ads would be called pap smears and that just sounded gross.

so i decided to call it the coffee and tea party. much more civilized don't you think? c.a.t. party. how can you go wrong with a name like that.

here's the thing. i did a lot of research to find out just what makes this country so great and i'm telling you it is the greatest nation in the entire world and if you don't agree with me then you are attacking the constitution and should not be allowed to do anything like talk on the radio or teach school.

anywho i figured it all out. puritans founded this country. they are white. so if you aren't white go back where you came from. all you indians go back to your reservations and get a job. the declaration of independence says "...that all *men* are created equal..." so it only follows that women are less than equal. get to the back of the line ladies. most of the founding fathers and i don't use that term loosely had slaves so it must be alright. i got big dummy for instance and he doesn't complain so what's the big deal. also our history shows that we had laws that limited chinese and irish immigration and put all the folks of japanese ancestry into concentration camps. i respect that. would this country do it if it was wrong? no i tell you a million times no cause we are the greatest nation in the world so all you irish and chinese go home and japanese get back behind that fence.

i mean if we are going to realize our true greatness we have to begin with the fundamentals and that means looking back to the very beginning when white people discovered this empty continent and made it safe for protestant christianity just like the crusades did way back in the day. so all you true americans out there are you with me or against me. are you american and willing to stand on your hind legs and slash, hiss, and bite to protect the freedoms that all white protestant men were meant by god to enjoy? if your answer is no you know you are the enemy and probably a terrorist. if your answer is yes god bless you and join the c.a.t. party right away. don't forget to vote if you own land.